Red Rubber Ball Addendum – Breakup Songs

The past post got me thinking about breakup songs.  The song I listened to during the breakup memorialized by that post was awesome.  It powered me through some workouts.  It was not the kind of song that stands the test of time – it was one of those angsty emo rock kind of things that will flicker out of popularity any day now – but it was what I needed right then.  I remember there were times when I listened to it on repeat, and it seemed to heft me bodily up out of my chair and get me onto that treadmill/into the library/making some dinner – whatever mundane thing I had going on – and get me through it.  It was a great coping crutch.

I CANNOT REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS.  This is so weird.  I’ve been thinking about it now for days, and I cannot remember the name, the band, the tune, the words, nothing.  I MUST figure out what this song was, because trying to remember it is taking up a whole lot of primo space in my brain.

In a corollary, I heard a song on the radio the other day that powered me through another relationship woe – Tracy Chapman’s The Promise.  I felt all the old sadness well up again, tears actually sprang to my freaking eyes.  It was really tied to some deep and abiding old pain, a pain I clearly recall when I hear the song.  The weird thing here is, I cannot remember which old pain.  Was this a breakup?  A long distance relationship?  I DON’T REMEMBER.

I’d better write down my damn name before I forget that.  I am thirty-two, people, not ninety-two.

As long as I’m mostly losing memories of long-dead sorrows, I guess I’m cool.  The problem is, these are things I don’t remember, so HOW DO I KNOW whether I’m remembering things I forgot, or whether I forgot to remember things I used to know but forgot?  Why am I writing this nonsense right now?

Oh.  I have a paper due in twelve hours.  That’s why!  At least with all my swiss cheese memory issues, I can still remember how to procrastinate!

This entry was posted in Before I Was A Grownup, Sometimes I Get Hepped Up and Think I Know a Thing or Two. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Red Rubber Ball Addendum – Breakup Songs

  1. Shantelle says:

    Hey, love the site. I went through an awful ordeal with my first marriage, and I too had an anthem. It was “Fighter” by Christina Aguilera. YUCK. Not really my thing, but so appropriate for the situation.

    But I still get all rah rah emotional about the breakup when I hear it.

    I’ve been thinking lately that the universe really might know what’s best for us, and I’m so not into all that fate stuff. It’s just that back then I could not imagine the awesome things that were coming my way, I was so into the wallowing. Like is funny that way.

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