Just this second, I’m feeling overwhelmed and out of control. Oddly, it has nothing to do with the job, which continues to click along at a breakneck pace, taking up virtually all of my time. Nope, it’s not the job – it’s my personal life that is wiggin’ me out.
- I have to begin a project for school for next year, one that I don’t have time for right now. I am owed reams of materials to use for this project, but the dude in possession of the materials refuses to get them to me. I’m not sure why. He’s being weird. I DO NOT HAVE TIME TO CHASE WEIRDOS TO GET STUFF FOR A PROJECT THAT I ALSO DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR.
- My parents are struggling with something I can’t talk about, but which is really spinning me right ’round with worry. (Not their marriage – they’re all solid there).
- Liam has a fever and is really listless and ill. God. This summer is the Summer of Fevers. And I’m not there to soothe them. This stresses me out more than you’d expect. You’d think I’d be happy not to have to pace the floor with a non-stop crying kid.
- We just paid $25 for the privilege of having Liam put onto a waiting list for day care. Which, again, took months longer than necessary because I could not get anybody to call me back and I just didn’t have the time to sit on these people all the livelong day. Anyways, he’s number FIFTY-SIX, for eff’s sake. I mean, you have got to be kidding me. Before sending the check, I asked how many were on the waiting list to see if it was even worth the $25, and she would only tell me that “the waiting list is fluid. you never know minute to minute how many kids will be on it.” I want my $25 back. Also, WTF, New Orleans? What is up with the child care situation? 56 kids on a waiting list = like, three whole new daycares, filled to maximum occupancy. Easy. Why can we not make this happen for the good working people of NOLA?
- It’s 11:03 and I have more work to do. But at least I’m at home/hotel, and can kick back with a Shiner Bock while I read and revise my Motion for Summary Judgment.
- I played golf today, in a firm-wide tournament. It was fun, but it would have been more fun if it hadn’t involved spending 6 hours in the hot sun when it was literally 100 degrees. In fact, local news fried an egg on a car hood, just to illustrate the obvious.
I think that’s all the big stressors. Besides the fact that there’s always this underlying “will I get this job” question running through my head. For the most part, I don’t let it affect my job performance. I cannot be any better than I be, you know? But it’s there, humming in the background.
One thing I’ve decided, in terms of stress reduction, is to change up my 3L schedule with an eye towards making it as easy as possible. A job with this firm would be way stressful. I’d like to enjoy one last stress free year with my boys, before taking it on. Income Tax can go hang.